2010 Buckeye Woods 50K FA

In lieu of a "traditional" race report. I've decided to write a complaint letter to Mother Nature concerning the weather conditions we faced this morning.

Dear Mother Nature,
(or as I'm going with today, You Frosty Hearted Witch)

I'm writing to you today about the winter-like weather you served up for the inaugural Buckeye Woods 50 this morning, the 5th of December, 2010. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SHIT? I distinctly recall ordering a sunny day with highs in the 50 to 60 degree range. Now, I don't know what planet you're from, but around here, mid 20's with wind gusts that push the wind chill into the teens and SNOW that falls SIDEWAYS is NOT the same thing as mid 50's and SUN! Yes, I know that it's December and Christmas is coming and all that, but it still says AUTUMN on my calender and that steaming platter of frozen-weather excrement we had to endure today is decidedly one that occurs in the WINTER.

Do you know what? Maybe you should get your bitch-ass outside and try running for more than an hour in this windy-ass polar cold! How would you like that? I'm guessing you wouldn't. Oh, I'm sure it looks positively lovely from inside, next to a crackling fire. But by about mile 15 your thoughts will begin to change from "winter wonderland" to wondering if your going to freeze one of your testicles off because there's not enough room for both of them to retract into your body cavity. Let me tell you, THAT is an unpleasant thought to ponder when you're out on a trail at the absolute farthest point from the aid station. And that's another thing. What was the deal with the excessive wind gusts at the aid station? I suppose you may have found that humorous? Well, it WASN'T! Of all the locations on that 5 mile loop, the ONE place it would have been nice to have a little respite from the elements was at the aid station. We stopped in. Got a little fluid. Ate something. Maybe even ate some hot noodles! Would it have been too much to ask to have the wind NOT blow so hard my fingers numbed in the time it took to eat 1/4 of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

I'll have to hand it to you Your Royal Frostiness. You beat me today. You managed to sap all the energy I had. Reduced me to walking. Your icy talons pierced my soul and left me little choice but to cut my run short! Sure, I was sick all week and hadn't ran in 8 days. But when I woke up this morning I still thought I could manage 31 miles. Congratulations, along with my strength, you sucked from my body what mental fortitude I was using to keep putting one foot in front of the other, leaving me only able to manage 26 miles (27 with that last mile I ran with Kenny). I salute the others who were able to persevere in the face of such a meteorological assault. They, THEY were the true victors. You may have beaten me into submission, but you didn't win. I have that to comfort me.

In the future, I suggest you treat us runners with the respect and dignity we deserve. Deliver us with weather conditions a little more suitable to running comfortably. Worrying about frostbite in our nether regions is NOT comfortable. I don't expect a refund for today's debacle, but I would appreciate a couple muggy 85 degree partly cloudy with a chance of scattered rain shower days next year to make amends. Say on the 30 and 31st of July to coincide with the Burning River 100? Yeah, that would be nice! It's the National 100 Mile Trail Championships again, you know. Hot and muggy would be SWEET!

Affectionately yours,
Mr. Pythagoras

P.S. I also suggest you do not overstep your bounds. Remember what happened to the White Witch in Narnia? She got a little full of herself and thought she could make it winter all year long and look what happened. Aslan put her back into her place. We might not be four English kids, but we Medinans roll like that. I would hate to see something like that happen to you. I'm just saying...

Life After a Successful "A" Race

For people who don't just run a lot, but compete in a number races every year, the season is usually broken down into segments with a key race headlining each segment. Those key races are called "A" races. They are followed, of course, by "B" and "C" races. Training builds up to the "A" race, with the hope that the runner will peak for that race. While I may have other races this year that were "A" races, Columbus was my top "A" race. And now it's over. I'm still coming to grips with the fact that I whomped it. Everything worked. I peaked at the right moment. The weather even cooperated. But I've nothing of that caliber to look forward to till next year. And that's a little depressing. I suppose I'm suffering from post-marathon depression (medical term). But rather than dwell on that, I'm going to make some other comments from this weekend.

1. Is it too much to ask, that if you're someone who is walking a race instead of running it, that you queue up BEHIND the runners? It is quite inexcusable for there to be ANY walkers lined up in front ANYONE who is running.

2. Could the floor planner for the Columbus Marathon Race Expo please by sacked? The layout this year was HORRIBLE. Talk about not planning for crowd flow. I didn't mind the serpentine pathway concept, but to have a walkway that's only ten feet wide at parts? That's just madness. There were over 10,000 entrants coming down there to pick up their race packets, and there was NOT enough room. You've gotten it correct up until this year, could you please return to what you've done in the past? Please also see how Cleveland and Akron do it.

3. Kudos, however, to the race management for coming through with upwards of 50 live bands along the course. Although some of them could have been playing a bit more up-tempo music, it was nice to have real people out there for us. I hope race officials from the Cleveland Marathon were taking note. They really did a poor job last year with on course entertainment.

4. Kudos also to Columbus race management for the 21 fluid stations. I don't recall how many there have been in the past or at other races, but they seemed more numerous. That's a good thing, even on a cool day. It's hard to take in the proper amount of fluid at each stop, and having them spaced out about every mile and a half made a HUGE difference. I don't think I would have been as successful without each and every one of them.

5. More mylar blankets at the finish next year please. I didn't get one and I needed one.

6. If you're going to get a hotel room next to Mr. and Mrs. Pythagoras the night before a race and you are going to be up late drinking, talking, and laughing so loudly that it wakes us up and keeps us up, don't be surprised when we strike back the following morning when we wake up HOURS before you. This weekend, we had our room moved but unfortunately "forgot" to turn off the alarm clock. If we could hear their phone ringing through the wall, I know they could hear our alarm clock going off with no one to turn it off. Congrats to Mrs. P for coming up with that idea.

7. Congrats to Mrs. P and her mom for walking the half marathon in under three hours (according to her watch). Now to get her running that distance!

I can't think of anything else right now, but those should suffice. Both of us are registered for the Flying Feather Four Miler on Thanksgiving morning, so I have that to look forward to. And I might consider finishing out the year with some various 5Ks as well. As long as my knee heals that is.

Mr. P

(edit)
I forgot to include mention of last night. So, two days after running a marathon I show up for the weekly speed work. Jim and Dan were there and I got to hear about their recent successes as well as share mine. 4 X 400 was all I could handle after a mile warm-up. My knee was bothering me. Best not to do too much with and let it heal up.

Mr. Pythagoras and the Marathon

Please enjoy this little jaunt of mine down memory lane. It's something I wrote back in January in another forum, but haven't posted here yet. It is essentially my complete history with 26.2. To date, that is.

Why would you want to do that? Are you nuts? You're going to do WHAT? All questions I fielded when I started telling people I was planning on running a marathon. My answers? I like to run. No, I'm not nuts, just slightly masochistic. You heard me right, I'm going to try running the full Revco Marathon. Oh, I should mention that this was back in 1990, I was 15 years old, and a sophomore in high school. Yeah, I had plans to go long even back then. But the marathon was nothing compared to my dream goal: competing in an Ironman. Next to that, the marathon should be easy. Well I was to find an answer to that soon enough.

I began my running career on the track in jr. high. It was the first year track was being offered, and I was somewhat interested in seeing what it was all about. I didn't fancy going to the orientation meeting by myself so I talked some friends into going with me. The meeting was very informative and I became seriously interested. But again, I didn't want to join by myself. The other guys weren't all that thrilled by the idea of competitive running, so I joined without knowing anyone. When asked what distances I was interested in doing, I asked what the shortest distances were. Well, I eventually ended up running the 100 meters and the 800 meters. An interesting combination. That season went well, as I didn't have anything to compare it to. It was a lot of hard work, but totally worth it.

That was my first and last experience as being a part of a running team. I went out for track in high school, but my legs just couldn't take running everyday, so I dropped out.
I still wanted to run, just not what was offered at school. So I turned to road races. 5Ks led to 5 miles and then to 10Ks. Attempting a marathon only made sense. So I entered the 1990 Revco Cleveland Marathon.

I should have known I was going to have a bad day when, while lining up in the queue, an older man leaned over to me and asked "You know this is the Marathon, right. The 10K starts later." I assured him this was the event I planned on doing. After the gun went off, I took my time, a very slow, comfortable pace. I didn't have a clue what to expect. My longest training run was probably not much more than 6 miles. I just figured that if I kept to a nice easy pace, I would eventually finish. I was young, invincible, and didn't know any better at the time. I was about to find out about something called "the wall".

The first half of the race actually went pretty well. The course was a straight out and back that led to Bay Village from downtown Cleveland. I was very tired by the time I hit the turn-around, and started eating and drinking whatever was being offered. Having never eaten anything during training, my body started rebelling on me. My stomach developed that heavy pressure you get when you know something isn't quite right. I remember my legs being very tired, not necessarily sore, just tired. I walked from mile 13 to just after mile 16, when the sag wagon pulled up beside me and asked if I wanted a ride back to the finish. Without hesitation, I climbed aboard and experienced my first DNF. We were dropped off at the CSU campus. My mom had driven us down, so I needed to find her. But first I was going to lose everything I had been consuming. Frantically, I found a somewhat secluded spot in which to blow my chunks. I was embarrassed enough about quitting the race, I didn't need anyone seeing me get sick too.

My next attempt at a marathon was two years later. I don't remember exactly how I decided to try it again, but it may have had something to do with the race starting and finishing a matter of blocks from the college I was just starting at. The race was the 1992 Columbus Marathon. It was an early October date, on Columbus Day weekend, to coincide with the 500th anniversary of Christopher Columbus discovering the new world. I ran in a 10 miler that September and also did longer training runs than I had before the Revco. I had just turned 18, was away from home for the first time, living in a strange fine-art environment, and felt it was something I just needed to do.

Back then the course went north up High St., through the Ohio State campus, and wound it's way into Upper Arlington, before coming back down through campus again and eventually downtown. Then it would head east into Bexley, turn around, wind through German Village, and finish at the State Capitol building. Basically the opposite of the way the course is laid out now.
I went out hard at the beginning. Passing people on the sidewalks and everything. When I did Revco, I started slow and I didn't want to do that again. Eventually I fell into a decent pace, staying with a pack of runners going my speed. I was tired as we made our way through Upper Arlington. But because it's a residential neighborhood, there were so many spectators lining the streets and cheering, I couldn't help but get a nice kick of adrenaline and feel really good making my way through there. In fact, the energy carried me all the way back down through campus and into downtown before I started really dragging. I think I made it into Bexley before I had to start walking. I was tired and my legs were starting to cramp on me. Quads and calves mostly. I don't remember much of what happened between Bexley and German Village except that I was in a lot of pain. More pain than I could ever remember experiencing before. But I kept pushing. I didn't want to have another failed attempt at a marathon. What I lacked in physical preparedness, I more than made up for in being mentally focused and just plain stubborn. The feelings that hit me as I made the final turn onto High St. were overwhelming, because I knew the finish was a little over a mile straight ahead of me and that I was going to finish. I was in so much pain, but I knew I was going to finish.

I finished my first marathon in 4 hours 49 minutes. I was sore for weeks afterward and couldn't run again for a couple months. That effectively ended my 1992 season. Nothing like going out on a high note though. The following spring, I finished the Revco Cleveland Marathon for the first time. I cut nearly 25 minutes from my time too, finishing in 4 hours and 25 minutes. In the fall of 1993, I finished another Columbus Marathon, again shaving off a little more time, finishing in 4 hours 23 minutes. I pulled out of the 1994 Columbus Marathon just after half way due to heat concerns. All my training was done in cool temps and race day ended up being very warm.
That was all she wrote for me until last year when I finished both the Akron Marathon and the Columbus Marathon. Three weeks apart doesn't allow for full recovery and I won't be doing that again. My PR in Akron of 4 hours and 15 minutes leads me to think I can go sub 4 hours this year in Columbus. We shall see.

I am glad to be going long again. The more I do, the more I'm getting over the regret of the 10 year break from running. Last year I reached a point where on any given weekend I could go out and do a half marathon, no problem. I would like to reach a point where I can do multiple full marathons per year, and do them faster. Qualifying for Boston isn't one of my goals, but it sure would be nice to do it once.